The Hangover

MAMAKSMALSMALet’s be real. Once you reach your mid-twenties your body just doesn’t bounce back after a wild night out. By wild night out I mean three gin and tonics, and a greasy burrito at 1:45 am. I used to laugh when people brought up hangovers because I was blessed with the miracle of being 21. Now that I’m about to turn 24, I have come to the conclusion that 23 was the year of the hangover for me. I had an alcohol hangover, relationship hangover, school hangover, job hangover. I’ve become a professional at tackling these hangovers, but one in particular I’ve made my bitch (sorry mom).

You have to prepare for a hangover. This means you need to have these staples in your kitchen and medicine cabinet before you even think about which scandalous outfit you are going to wear that night. This is my recipe for a hangover free, productive day after a night of ratchet activity.

-Coconut water (Vita Coco and Whole Foods 365 brand are my go to.)
-Advil/Aleve/Tylenol 
-Bananas (frozen and sliced)
-PB&J ingredients
-Bottle of water
-b12 pills

Before the madness:Screen Shot 2015-08-14 at 12.34.00 PM
I don’t care how skin tight your dress is, EAT! That’s why spanx were created. I made the mistake of not eating before a night in Vegas and I nearly died. I did get this cool photo though.Too bad yours truly can’t remember anything after that point. Eat something that will carry you over to the next day, but nothing so heavy that you want to vomit after one shot. I also make it a point to drink at least one glass of water during dinner/pre drink. This is crucial, set a bottle of water, and a tylenol (or whatever) pill next to your bedside.

During the actual drinking:
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There are two types of people in the world. People who take shots, and people who don’t. I’m talking about tequila/vodka/whatever shots. Shots are great because 1. you’re not getting the extra calories that come with mixed drinks, 2. you’re not getting the added sugar that comes with most mixed drinks. Avoid drinks that aren’t clear. Those drinks usually are filled with syrups and sugars which make your hangovers that much worse. Stick to a vodka soda or a gin and tonic with a fresh squeezed lime. After a drink or two I like to order water just to even things out. Alcohol dehydrates you and you want to stay a step ahead of it.

When you get home:
As soon as you get home, and before you crawl into bed, force yourself to take the tylenol, b12 pill. Drink the whole bottle of water. This step is KEY.

When you wake up feeling like a hot mess:
As soon as you wake up drag yourself to the kitchen and whip out those frozen Screen Shot 2015-08-14 at 12.30.43 PMbananas. I like to slice fresh bananas and keep them in a ziploc bag in the freezer. Put a handful of frozen bananas and a slash of coconut water into your blender. While it’s blending start sipping on that coconut water. I like coconut water for the fact that it’s easier to get down than water, it’s insanely hydrating, and it’s packed with potassium. Next, eat your frozen banana puree. This will get something into your stomach, give you some energy, and again, more potassium. Potassium is key for hangovers because it’s an electrolyte, which is one of the main things your body needs after drinking.

Take the next hour to nap. 

brunch

The final step:
Once you’ve showered and taken a power nap, get back in the kitchen and make a pb&J. The protein from the peanut butter will help you get through the rest of your day, and the coconut water will keep you hydrated. By this time you should be getting texts from your friends wondering if you’re alive and asking to meet you for brunch. Proceed with caution.

-M

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